Sunday, 13 September 2015

An act of kindness

Hello there and Happy late Sunday!

I once watched a video on YouTube about a social experiment, performed by an actor. He put red stains all over his shirt and lay on the streets of Delhi to see how many people would actually come and rescue him. He lay there for apparently 40 minutes and as an expected end to the story, nobody ever helped him up, despite them encircling around him. That sounds obvious, doesn't it? So did that ever make you think about what you really live for? No, really-just go ahead and think for a while. Your family? Your income? Your children? Yourself? 

Well, it seems like a combination of all these things, doesn't it? Well that's the point till where we think. But tell you what, there's one thing much beyond that..humanity. Have you ever thought how this world began? Or how it functions everyday? Everything that happens in this world is a repercussion of our actions-whether positive or negative. It is scientifically proven that everything in this world is relative. Everything. Like, if you tore your favorite pair of socks today, it is because an elephant in Hartbeespoortdam, South Africa, sneezed a thousand years ago. Not joking! You can look it up! O.K so my point is, in this world where we think fate rules our lives more than any government ever can, I think we can design our fate. Your actions can influence the life of another person entirely! Can you imagine the advantages of that? What if we all chose to do things that benefit others too, and not just ourselves? Imagine if every person, would act or do at least one positive deed to one person everyday, this would be a whiter globe. As impossible as it sounds, it is a highly contagious aspect. Anyway, as selfish and egoistic as man is, there is always an spark of humanity in him that he is probably not aware of, and that can make his life much better.
All of us are familiar with the Syrian war crisis and how innumerable people from the country and borders seek critical help-women and children included. Let me give you a piece of an article I read recently of a Doctor from a Private hospital in Syria:

"Our village is overwhelmed with thousands of displaced people from all over Homs. They ran away from death, but are now under siege. Our small field hospital was set up to treat the wounded, but with time and because of the siege we now see many children, pregnant mothers, and elderly patients. It’s too dangerous to cross the checkpoints to government hospitals, and many of our patients would rather take the chance of the limited treatment available in North Homs than risk the journey. There are lots of gaps: maternal health care is very limited, and there are only two orthopedic and four general surgeons for around 350,000 people. I’m a general surgeon myself and we rotate among the few field hospitals in North Homs, wherever we are needed, working long hours for very little pay.

Many tireless volunteers support the running of the field hospitals. They don’t have degrees, but they have war experience. It’s impossible for us to get medicine in any official way. Even basic supplies are scarce, so we started making our own handmade gauze. We make very little, but it’s better than nothing. Blood bags and anesthetics are virtually impossible to procure; people risk their lives to carry small amounts. Vaccinations used to be allowed in, but for the last four months even this wasn’t possible.

Flour and yeast are forbidden; the checkpoints allow eight loaves of bread at a time. We use whatever grains are available—it no longer tastes like bread but we eat it. Whatever is available on the market is so expensive, up to four or five times what it used to cost before the war. Even those who had a little money before don’t have much left now. Electricity and clean water are considered luxuries." 

We, at our homes, are probably sitting on our couches watching T.V with our legs on the table in front of us and a bowl of popcorn in hand. So you might think that there's no way that what we, in India, can do anything that could help Syria. You're right, we can't. But the purpose behind me quoting that article is to bring to your notice the need for humanity! No one can ever survive completely on their own. We need to be dependent on someone at some point of our lives. We never try to help people at the cost of our comforts. My father never hesitates to help anyone who's in need of it, even at the cost of his own comfort. He once put away all his important work to help a family member. He would be so involved in it that he lost his sleep, his diet would not be proper and he had no time to spare for himself. So one day at dinner, I asked him why was he so persistent upon helping them, and what he gained from it. "They're not going to help you when you're in need! So stop straining yourself over it, dad!", was what I said. His response was thus:

"How many types of people live in this world? (and obviously before I could answer, he said). Only one. Those are the people who help other people. Those are the ones who believe that whatever we do, in the end, affects the people around them, and keeping that in mind, they always try to make positive influences to their surroundings. The others just exist and I do not want to call them "people". If you survive to develop a positive cycle of actions around you, I believe that that's when you have the right to live. And always remember, when you show an act of kindness to others through help, it always finds a way to come back to you."
Since then, I've never thought twice about helping people who truly deserve it, and that feeling itself is what is worth living for. 
SO, the whole point of this is that you realize that there is no point in thinking 'why' must we help, because humanity can never give you side effects. Plus, your act of kindness today might be that spark of revolution which might stop the suffering of several innocent people out there in refuge, who have an equal right to life.

BORING, was it? I hope not because there's more coming up about this Syrian crisis and what I think about the way those refugees are treated in Europe in the post for next week(or if I get lazy again, the week after that!). K BYE and wish me good luck-just don't ask why, do it! Please!(As an act of kindness!!!).

Sunday, 30 August 2015

What do you think is most important to you?

Hello! Happy Sunday! I know I didn't post last week because I was drowning in the ocean of Math work and I never learnt swimming. Anyway, I thought of first writing a funny blog, but then I thought-I'm not even funny! So here goes a small talk on the crazy obsession people that all age groups have and how it negatively might be influencing them.

Do you remember those times, when you just got a call from a distant relative on an old friend to your landline one day, and you talked to them for hours? Yeah, ME NEITHER. That's because all of the major years of the present teenagers-about-to-turn-major were spent on their eyes locked to their phone screens. Ask me! I did not have a phone until class 9. When I got one, it was one of those basic cellular mobiles and the first time I ever texted from it, it stressed me out because first of all, I was doing it for the first time. Second, I didn't know how to reply "cool" and all. It sounds silly to me now, but back then, I wanted to be like those friends of mine who randomly woke up one day and decided to ditch a class and go on road trips with their group of friends. For that, I had to text those people first. When I texted for the first time, I felt like I was "interacting" with them in a broader aspect and that felt satisfying, for a while. After a few days of doing that, I got bored. They would invite me to parties and all, but I would feel too awkward to go and mingle, so I never went. Those friends then gradually stopped inviting me, knowing I wouldn't show up anyway. And then one day, I woke up in the morning and realized that they stopped texting me too.
          I had to deal with the peer pressure later, when at a point in my life, I had no friends because I actually ignored the old ones and used to text these people. How I got real friends, is not what this post is about. This is about how I got the dangerous addiction to texting and socializing, how it influenced me, and how I got over it(I think). With no friends to talk to, I used to watch too much T.V, and put on a lot of weight. I did not even focus that much on my studies. So what did I do? I used to spend hours on Facebook and Instagram, trying to find people who might like to talk to me. I would check my phone for new texts once in 5 minutes even though there was no chance of getting any. That was a miserable phase of my life, because I started to feel that everyone around me were fake, and I had the myth digested that once they were not with me, they spoke things about me. I got very attached to my virtual social life then, when I created a fan page of a celebrity and met people who had similar thoughts as mine. I used to text them(not too personal stuff) the problems I was facing with my friends and they shared their friend troubles with me. Then I used to think upon their issues and started finding solutions. I realised all of us were having issues because of just one thing- Giving more importance to socialising than to ourselves. There was this time when I used to post everything I felt on Instagram and Twitter, thinking that maybe it would help me get away from it. But all I had to do was to simply discuss it with my parents and be positive to find a way out of it. I realised that a little later than I should have. In class 10, when I was really worried about my "first ever board exams", I finally decided to put an end to this virtual life that I was living in. I started working hard on my school subjects, but no matter how hard I tried, I could never study satisfactorily. So I decided to take this issue to my mom.

I cried, "Mommy, I can't focus on what's important to me. I can't get through this without having to share things with people. I have no friends, what do I do?"

Here's what she said: "Sweety, what do you think is most important to you? Is is me? Your dad? Your friends? or your exams? (and after a minute long silence, she looked into my confused eyes and said) It's you. You are the only person who can make you happy. Your life is not just about your friends or what you want to share with them. It is not always necessary to have someone to share your thoughts  with all the time, or express your state of mind. All you need to do to keep your day going, is being conscious of what you are doing. If you know what your conscience is trying to tell you and if you can make your mind implement it, that's more than anything you require to live. When you have a problem, you might think that sharing it with someone would mitigate your sadness. That's not completely true, it only makes an other brain think about your problem, which only agitates the situation, not suppress it. People then think about your life in their style of thinking and that does not help you with anything. You must prioritize what matters to you most and think about it, because the only person who can bring out the best solution to your problems, is you. You can go for advice to any of your real or fake friends, but in the end, your actions describe what kind of a person you are."

And after that night, I never felt too bloated with problems. I just prioritized my problems and shared what mattered to my friends, with them.

YOUR QUESTION: What's the point of all this?
MY ANSWER: In today's time when everyone just cannot wait to share everything with their friends through constant texting, status updates and tweets, I would like to convey to you to spend some time to yourselves and think about your life issues instead of ranting your friend who is probably crushed under the landslide of his own troubles.

That's it! I hope it wasn't too boring, but if it was, I don't care! Have a great week ahead, K BYE!

Sunday, 16 August 2015

What (not) to post on Facebook

Hello there! Hope you had a spectacular Sunday. At home. Staring at your Facebook feed all day.
That's right! I know you're guilty of that.

So today I was in a dilemma whether to write about 'When to use social networking sites' or 'what to post on Facebook' and I chose the latter because it doesn't matter how long you are on Facebook to others, what matters is what you choose to show them. That's something people should know. 

Now you may think that I have no right to tell you what to post and what not to, you're right. I don't. But that's not what I'm doing here exactly. This post is an attempt to take you to your conscience and tell you that whatever you post on those social networking sites reflects so much about what you think, and how you deal with things in life. 
So here go the annoying things people post and why they should be avoided

1.The "share in 3 seconds" posts

  We have all seen those pictures of Gods or a dying baby saying, "Share in 3 seconds or bad luck for the next 5 years." Really? Bad luck for 5 years? I haven't shared any post of that sort in my lifetime and yes, that's right, I got suspended from college, my house was robbed, I lost my credit card, my parents abandoned me and I got arrested because I didn't share that picture of that kid with leukemia. (SARCASM!!!) . Just grow up! People who share those kind of posts are the ones who tend to believe everyone and everything that is told to them without thinking twice about it! Those are the kind of people who need to learn to stand on their feet and face bad luck when it comes! If you are concerned about dying children, go to a government hospital and donate to a dying kid from your pockets. That might be something that would keep bad away from you.

2.The "singer's" posts

 If you have ever posted song lyrics from a song that's not even that good, you fall in this category. 
O.K, so we get it. It's a nice song. But you're really not going to write all those lyrics and post them, are you? If you really like the song and want to share it with your friends, you can either write a post like, "listening to ____ by ____" or just upload a video of you singing it! Yes, we can handle that. But when you write down all the lyrics of a song (unless they are extremely poetic), people don't read all of that. And they won't even have thoughts on listening to it. So there's no point in you sharing about it. All it does is convey to people that you have memorised the lyrics and you're listening to songs, that means you're either going to do extremely well in your test the next day, or you will fail.

3.Results from online quizzes

 I do agree that online quiz polls like BuzzFeed are very fun and I take them a lot too. But you don't have to share those results with your friends because honestly, I don't care what the position of your fingers say about your personality, I don't care what celebrity is your soulmate and I honestly don't want to know when and how you're going to die(I will just attend to the funeral when it happens). Also, it matters that when you use these apps on Facebook, you check for the privacy of your profile, and that those apps do not have much access to your personal information. 

4.Post meeting affections

 When you meet a friend somewhere one day, it's okay to post a selfie with them, or it is alright if you check-in at that place and tag them. But when you come back home, and then you go on the internet saying, "Had so much fun with you today! Love you so much! <3". Like, really. You guys already met and talked. Didn't you mention to the other that you love them? Oh, I see why you didn't, because you had to come back and tell the whole world about it. (WHAT?) Just-why? You don't have to do that! Just meet, greet, click  few pictures, talk, come back home and get over it, because nobody cares! People like me, who judge people based on their types of Facebook posts would obviously think of you as a person who does things for others to see it, and not for yourself, and by extension, those kind of people are The Attention Seekers. You don't want to be called that, do you?

5.Father's Day/Mother's Day posts

 We all have done it at some point of time-wishing our parents online on Father's Day or Mother's day or on their birthdays. Our news feed is literally flooded with pictures of our friends with their mothers/fathers and that they love them so much, they can't imagine life without them and all that while all of us know that sad truth that actually at home, they probably just shouted at them for not washing their best dress for their weekend hangout with friends, or they told off words because they didn't get their monthly pocket money. If that's not true, and you genuinely love your mother, you would be spending time with her instead of checking every 20 minutes on how many likes you got for your picture. If you really love them, and want to show your gratitude towards them, go spend some quality time with them, help them with their daily needs, go shopping or to a restaurant with them and talk to them. Give them a reason to always come back to you when they need most, like how we go to them all the time.

6.Tragedy posts

 We all have those friends who are heartbroken all the time. If you are one of them, my sincere advice to you is just to not take it to the public. It would honestly be embarrassing for you to know what people think of you. When you post statuses like that, it means that you are incapable of handling your life's problems and you are on your way downhill. Here's what you do- when you are having tough times or you think you can't make it, remind yourself that it is not true. It can never happen that you can't make it. Everything shall pass, and you will get out of it. But that boost of motivation can only be done by you and nobody else, so there's no point in posting that to public unless you want to convey to people how weak a person you are.

So that's it for now, and I know I have missed a lot more of them but it's already late in the night my Facebook page is calling me(just kidding!!!). I'm sorry if I was too rude but someone had to say it! And the next time you post something on Facebook, make sure that people are really interested in it and they would respond to it genuinely, otherwise, it would just be another means for people to think things about you that you're probably not! Have a great week ahead! Bye.



Sunday, 9 August 2015

How To Judge People

Hello there! I know it has been ages since I posted anything ever in this blog. It's not that I haven't got anything new to share, oh I have learnt SO many new things, but I just wrote them down in a diary and didn't care to share them because I thought they were mere thoughts every teenager would go through while growing up and nothing significant. But apparently, it is. And it took me three more years to figure that out. It is important that each one of us have new perspectives on new things that we come across every day and that we constantly keep updating them. By sharing them, we more so think about them and that truly helps us to understand things better. Well, that's enough with the comeback message. I'm here to share an ignorant yet demeaning aspect of our society with you. So here goes.

Being a brown kid strictly grown up in the same city since my birth, I've never really had much exposure to people from different places and their diverse thoughts. But something that is generally prevailing among us is Discrimination Based On Appearance. I know that this is something everybody don't do and you might argue that only people who are "not from a good background" or whose thoughts are "not refined" would think like that, but I'm here to point out that all of us, no matter how educated or well diverse we are, ignorantly do it at some part of our lives.
 Before you go away from this page, let me give you a scenario example. You're a local at the bus stop, waiting for your bus and a tourist, let's just say a white, comes to you and asks you if you could help them up with a location they are unable to find. Being Indians, we know how suddenly responsible we feel to even drop them off to their destination(little exaggerated but you  get the picture). Now if on the same day, a person who probably is not so well-dressed or who probably does not smell so good, comes to you and asks you to drop them off to the same destination that you just did for the westerners, you would probably not because you "don't feel like trusting" him. I, myself, have done it once and I feel very ashamed of it, now that I thought about it. All of us, ignorantly or not, discriminate people based on their appearance in almost all situations in life. If you do not believe that, you can go back in time and think about that one time you helped a man or a woman a little too much just because you thought he or she was attractive. I have, since long, observed my friends or peers who would deliberately make friends with people who look better. This is something our society is completely guilty of and which would one day effect our lives severely. I found it very sad to learn that people only respect you if you are either of the two things- A person in a good position of authority or a person with good looks(If you're both, you can be king). It has often been my experience that when I go to a beauty parlor or to one of those posh malls with my mom that I encounter a lot of people who would only talk to the "classes" and would serve them with water or welcome drinks and would probably not even bother to throw the same cup of water, if the ones who did not wear expensive makeup and did not have sunglasses sitting on their heads, were on fire. That is not all of the ridiculous part-there was one time I went to a supposedly posh hair saloon(dressed mediocrely) with my mom and seeing us, the owner of a lady came to us asking us what we liked. I said I wanted a haircut with a fringe that is not actually a fringe but would look good when I left my hair open because I didn't want problems with my school and I honestly had unbelievably gorgeous hair. So she asked us a few questions about what type of a fringe I wanted(turns out there are many) and when we were not able to decide which one(Mom: Not too short o.k), a lady with already strained and dyed hair and sunglasses on(even inside the saloon), who wore a seemingly expensive cologne came in and the owner hairdresser ran to her, leaving us alone to the heap of magazines in front of us and never returned back. When I came back home that day, that's when I thought about this ridiculous mindset most of the society has, to discriminate people based on their appearance.

Question:O.K all of this already exists, so what can we do about it?

Answer:Change. We must never be the person who is judgmental about another person's physical appearance. Every person is someone beyond their complexion, facial features and build. It is about their attitude. Attitude is the word that has many features reverberating inside it- Personality, the way we carry ourselves, our actions, our priorities, our interests, our abilities and most importantly- what we choose to love most. When we look at people and start judging them based on what they're wearing at the moment or how they smell, it will one day doom us to something worse than death- loneliness. So it is through this post today that I would like to convey to you to stop looking at people the way you've been. I've realized this and started seeing people in better ways and that helps me lot while growing up because if there is something we're constantly doing without halt, it is 'growing up'. So the next time a person comes to you and asks you to help them, you know exactly how to judge them.